If you won’t talk to your kids about sex, Old Spice will…
Once upon a time, the traditional way to learn about s-e-x, was to sit through an awkward talk with a parent. Little Johnny would sidle up beside pop and sit awe-struck as his father bombarded him with terms like “penis”, “insertion” and “multiple orgasm”.
But after the unexpected rise in childhood therapy, it was clear that an alternative was needed.
Today, we rely on the schools to teach kids about puberty, or at least give them a basic introduction (typically kids fill in the blanks using TV, the internet, and spin the bottle). And all is good in the world of sex education. Or at least that’s what I thought until I happened to stumble upon this post by Black Hockey Jesus.
It turns out that Old Spice (actually Proctor & Gamble) is now responsible for educating children
about puberty through their Always Changing Puberty Education Program. The program includes materials for both girls and boys, complete with an informational booklet and free P&G swag (Secret deodorant and Always pads for girls – Old Spice deodorant for the boys).
I assumed that P&G would find a way to “subtly” slip their products into the program, but I didn’t realize they also produced the informational booklet. Sure, it was “developed by teachers and school nurses”, but if P&G is paying the bills, I’m sure they can find a way to influence the content (I was expecting phrases like, “you have wet dreams because you use the wrong deodorant” or “use Old Spice or your balls will never drop”).
So what does Old Spice (P&G) have to say about puberty anyway? The following are excerpts from the booklet for boys:
Does it matter what size your penis is?
Not at all…[r]emember, the size of your penis has nothing to do with how manly your are.
Erections
You can get an erection for no reason at all.
Wash regularly – especially after excercise
Any time you get sweaty, you should bathe more often. For 8-hour protection, use Old Spice Red Zone Body Wash. Then…apply Old Spice Red Zone Deodorant to help keep odor away.
I’m no prude, but has advertising become so pervasive that we now expect puberty pamphlets to come with corporate sponsorship? Sure, it’s important to bathe regularly, but do you really need Old Spice Zone Body Wash or will any old bar of soap do the trick?
It’s nice of Old Spice to tell kids that penis size does not determine manliness, but judging by their ads, I don’t know if I trust Old Spice’s concept of masculinity.
Maybe penis size has nothing to do with manliness, but apparently choosing the right deodorant sure does. Welcome to puberty, kids!
