Canadian Cholito

The 2010 Olympic Games in Vancouver will be a special event for Canada, as it is an opportunity to win a gold medal at home for the first time ever. Canada has hosted the Olympic games twice before (once in Montreal and then in Calgary), but we’ve been shutout in the gold medal standings.

VANOC, the Games’ organizing committee, is committed to changing that little blemish on Canadian Olympic history. They’ve made the commitment to securing a gold medal with programs like Own the Podium.

Kudos, VANOC. With your help, all Canadians have come one step closer to making history. So you will be forgiven if you have to take extreme measures to guarantee success.

The secret is out. The Americans are talking. Now everyone is listening.

American pundit and humourist, Stephen Colbert, has sparked controversy recently by accusing Canadians of cheating. His comments are a reaction to claims, from the U.S. and other countries, that non-Canadian athletes are being denied adequate access to Vancouver facilities. Meanwhile, Canadian athletes are receiving unlimited training advantages. Colbert and guest, Speedskater Joey Cheek, went back and forth taking shots at Canada, using terms like “Saskatchewhiners” and “syrup-suckers”. Cheek even went as far as calling the situation a “dick move” (possibly implying that VANOC Board member Dick Pound is somehow responsible?).

VANOC has yet to respond to Colbert’s allegations. It’s hard to say how they will react (if at all). But the worst thing they can do is ignore the problem. Sure, this can be seen as a harmless comment made in jest, yet it’s so much more than that. This is an affront to our Canadian pride.

This is an outright challenge.

Colbert is well aware of his popularity and clout. He has a whole nation behind him willing to support him at every opportunity. With the Olympics months away, the last thing this city needs is more controversy.  First there was the seal clubbing issue, then anti-Olympic protests and now this. Colbert, fully aware of the controversy surrounding the 2010 Games, has intentionally created another distraction as a way of compromising Canada’s efforts to secure the gold. As a sponsor of the U.S. Speedskating team, Colbert has a vested interest in seeing the Canadian Speedskaters fail.

According to a VANOC press release, they anticipated the demand for facilities leading up to the games. They even set aside specific dates for booking ice time. In November, for example, the Olympic Oval is available to international skaters from the 15th -30th. Two weeks is plenty of time to train! Sure, you have to book your time a month in advance to “balance the use of the facility between teams and the general public“.

But that doesn’t mean international athletes are competing with Canadian athletes for access to facilities. It just means that international athletes have to compete with the general public for access to facilities.

If international Speedskaters are losing their ice time because the general public wants to play a couple games of shinny, then who is Colbert to judge? Does he really expect Canadians to apologize for their love of skating? Skating is part of our heritage, along with fur-trading, igloo-building contests and Molson Canadian commercials.

Canadians shouldn’t have to compromise their national identity in order to please Colbert and the U.S.

It’s time to take a stand, Canada.  We are expected to turn the other cheek. But with our gold medal and national identity on the line, we need to be uncharacteristically aggressive.

VANOC, if you’re reading this, I implore you to call a press conference to tackle this issue head on. Instead of ignoring the comments, denying any wrongdoing, or relying on disingenuous corporate spin – why not be completely transparent?

I suggest we own the allegations made against us, much like we intend to own the podium. They accuse us of cheating, we respond with a hearty “fuckin’ rights, eh!”

Let the world know that Canadians are committed to ruling the podium and nothing will stand in our way – not sportsmanship , and definitely not Stephen Colbert.